Godders Bloom in "Paki" race row

UKIPwatch's favourite purveyor of casual racism, Godfrey Bloom, has again hit the headlines after treating Radio 2 listeners to his unique approach to race relations. Godders, who famously described the Archbishop of York, John Semtamu, as "as black as Newgate's knocker", told listeners that being called a "Paki" was no different to being called a "Brummie".
It's not a surprise to hear that Bloom thinks this, but the fact is they are not the same. Calling some a "Paki" is no different to calling someone a "nigger".

Maybe Godfrey should have a discussion with the Rev Arun Arora of St Mark's Church in Harrogate, the heart of his Yorkshire constituency who has penned this excellent piece in today's Yorkshire Post. Perhaps then this witless, offensive cretin would realise that using a term which dismisses any part of someone's personality and reduces them to their skin colour, is not funny or endearing, but poisonous, degrading and offensive.

Still, on a lighter note, we've found three great adjectives that sum up Godders nicely. Although he might attack the BNP's Andrew Brons extremist politics, Bloom's are no different. Poisonous, degrading and offensive.

Oafish Bloom banned by the FSA

The marvellous buffoon that is Godfrey Bloom likes to think of himself as something of a financial expert. It has even been alleged that several of the assistants he pays using his parliamentary allowance, actually work for one of the companies he is associated with (although UKIP could not possibly comment). However, his knowledge, wit and expertise did not go down too well with Lord Adair Turner, director of the Financial Services Authority, at a Mansion House speaker last week.

Lord Turner gave a detailed and carefully prepared speech about lessons to be learnt from the financial crisis. Good old Godders gave Lord Turner a piece of his (small) mind.

The unctuous Bloom (presumably having enjoyed a fine dinner) thus became the first person in living memory to heckle a Mansion House speaker and, consequently, has been banned by the Lord Mayor's office. In a stiffly worded note to UKIP, the Lord Mayor's office said:
"Mr Bloom will not be receiving any further invitations to Mansion House events nor will be welcome at the Brussels Annual reception….at which Lord Turner is the keynote speaker". Ouch:

Needless to say, the oafish Bloom (who, were he fifty years younger and did not affect a bowler hat, would make a high-class football hooligan) was not prepared to take this affront to his dignity lying down. In his words:

"Being censored by the silent sycophants is hardly a punishment is hardly a punishment. Lord Adair heads the failed FSA, and denounces the City. I denounce him".

Touché. Or perhaps I should say touchy!

Bloom’s family affair – he scams taxpayer so parliamentary staff work for his investment company

Another missive from UKIPs most gregarious of buffoons, Godfrey Bloom, with the Times exposing the fact that Godders has been gloriously ripping off the taxpayer by paying his parliamentary staff (using taxpayers’ money) to work for his investment company.

Still, why should anyone doubt a man who has the sheer gall to say: “I am pretty well known as the cleanest MEP in town. All of the people who work for me are fully qualified and trustworthy.”

Of particular amusement to UKIPwatch is that Bloom has always claimed that he does not employ any family members, ignoring the fact that one of the three assistants is his niece!

According to the Times:

“Emma Brader, his accredited parliamentary assistant, and Victoria Skowronek, his secretarial assistant, were both working in the York headquarters of TBO Investments yesterday, six days before the European elections. David McLaughlin, another member of his staff, is a director of TBO Investments.”

Indeed:

“(Bloom) confirmed yesterday that Ms Skowronek was his niece and lives next door to him in Wressle, East Yorkshire.

Also good to see that Godders’ renowned charm has still not deserted him. Have a look at this wonderful careers advice he offers his staff should he get deservedly beaten tomorrow:

“Ms Brader, 26, a leading point-to-point rider, wrote on Facebook that if Mr Bloom was not re-elected: “This would mean that Vicki and I would lose our jobs and Godfrey says we’d have to go on the game, but we wouldn’t make much money because we are too old!”

Bloom’s company TBO investment was recently fined by the Financial Services Authority (FSA) for inadequate supervision and monitoring of staff providing advice to clients and for inadequate record keeping between December 2001 and October 2007, but that’s a story UKIPwatch will return to……

Godders' answer to population growth - smoke yourself to death

The amusing Hugh Muir has this little piece in the Guardian poking fun at UKIPwatch’s richest source of fun, Godfrey Bloom. His description of Godders as “the self-styled Andy Capp of the European Parliament” is particularly apt.

It seems as though Godders’ solution to halt global population growth is to get people smoking cigs. In Godders’ words, “we are too many on this planet anyway and we are also getting older, who is going to pay for all those pensions if smokers are not dying?” Well said Godfrey, we should all be as selfless as you and smoke ourselves to an early grave.

With high quality English and first rate logic like this, it is amazing that Godders’ has not enjoyed a stellar political career.

The magnificent Mr Muir also draws attention to Godders' binge-drinking prowess. Godders, lest we forget, tried to outdo William Hague's 'I drank 16 pints' claims by telling his local paper that he maintained a proud record of at least one session of 8 pints or more each week. UKIPwatch now realises why Godfrey looks about twenty years older than his 59 years, but worries about the effect on his liver from an estimated 17,472 pints.

As Hugh says, while UKIPwatch would miss Godfrey immensely if he were to lose his seat, "looked at from this perspective, wouldn't more free time for Godfrey suit everybody?"

Bloom back in form

UKIPwatch was getting a bit concerned that Godfrey Bloom was going a bit soft in his old-age - mellowing, perhaps. He hadn't insulted anybody for weeks. We were delighted to see this wonderful, rambling, oafish speech from the mighty Bloomman.

Starting as he means to go on, Godders', in characteristically pompous style, tells MEPs that "I have spent 40 years in financial services, so I think perhaps I know a little bit about what I am talking about here".

40 years? No wonder our financial services sector is fucked!

What follows is a gentle, meandering ramble before Godders gets to the real meat of his short speech. You see, talking about legislation is too boring, demeaning even for a berk of his calibre. What Godfrey really wants to do is ignore the debate and shower everyone with a torrent of invective and abuse.

And here we are: Solvency II, which will, in his eyes, consist of "ignorant bureaucrats, Scandinavian houswives, Bulgarian mafia and Romanian peg-makers".

May God bless this stupid, boorish cretin.

Bloom in bar room fracas? Surely not....

An anonymous conspirator sent UKIPwatch this story which is funny enough to deserve being posted in full.

Enjoy!

Godfrey Bloom got it horribly wrong in a Brussels bar recently, when he had to be physically restrained from attacking a young gentleman. The man who once threatened to "do" Labour MEP Richard Corbett in a Strasbourg bar, had, unfortunately for him, turned on an undercover journalist.

"He's BNP" shouted fellow drinker Nigel Farage gleefully as Bloom went on the attack. The Yorkshire MEP, described by one of those who did the restraining as having "the physical presence of a marshmallow" is now almost permanently drunk, according to regulars of O'Farrell's bar in Brussels. Farage and Godders have a combined age of over 100 - which is probably about the same as their combined IQ - and are surely old enough not to have to behave like a couple of pissed-up students.

Perhaps the credit crunch has hit the MEP who once drunkenly lambasted east European MEPs in Strasbourg for not fully understanding hedge funds. How ironic.

Brilliant stuff!

Godfrey Bloom unites Yorkshire and Lancashire

Lovely to see that while Gorgeous Godfrey Bloom may be against EU co-operation, he is doing his bit to reconcile one of the oldest and bitterest rivalries to divide England: Yorkshire and Lancashire. Bloom, in a statement that will probably surprise both sides of the Pennines (Lancastrians on the grounds that he's not one of their MEPs and Yorkies because he does so little that nobody's heard of him)has apparently now become the MEP for Yorkshire and North Lancashire!

Maybe Godders was recovering from a heavy night out when he sent this one. Or maybe he really does have a new job healing the emnity between England's two great northern counties.

Godders' new Britain - Let's abolish the minimum wage and bring back wage slavery

The ever delightful and publicity shy Godfrey Bloom took to the airwaves of the Jeremy Vine show over the festive period to proclaim that the national minimum wage should be abolished, adding in true faux-magisterial style that "If I want to employ somebody at £4 an hour that's my business". Fantastic, Godfrey, let's get that Union Jack out and bring back wage slavery!

However, UKIPwatch wonders whether Godfrey did his sums before making this claim. Maybe someone could point out to Godders' that if someone worked a 45 hour week at £4 an hour their annual wage would work out at a fraction under £9.5k before tax (roughly £8,500 after tax). Even Godfrey, as a self-proclaimed expert on all things finance related, should be able to recognise that there is no way anyone can be expected to live on this.

It's also quite a contradiction for Godders, the renowned bon viveur, to suddenly turn into Mr Scrooge. One law for him and one for everyone else, I guess.

Selby superhero's fall from grace

Something’s afoot in the neighbourhood. Some young punk is causing trouble and there’s a damsel in distress on the streets of, err, Selby but soon a UKIP sign is roving across the night’s sky alerting the town’s new superhero to the danger. Minutes later a figure comes striding, well alright shuffling, through the mist. Pow! Ooooff! Clunk! It's Bloomman and he saves the day!

Yobs beware, Godfrey Bloom has volunteered to dispense summary justice on the streets of Yorkshire after his friend got a ticking off from the police following a falling out with a "foul-mouthed yobboe" over a parked van.

He concludes his letter (to the forces of darkness presumably) with "May I suggest we disband our now ineffectual uniformed police and let people like me and my colleague sort these anti-social morons out ourselves?"

Anyway back to the story...


Bloomman peels off his tights after another night fighting evil. Today’s crime? Kids not being allowed to drink tea at school. Pouring himself a drink, Bloomman soon reverts back to his everyday character of Godfrey Bloom, UKIP MEP for Yorkshire. His sidekick, the boy Arnott, hands him a letter informing him of his punishment for unparliamentary behaviour in the European Parliament. Sock! Pow! Zam! Crunch! Zlonk! It’s a fine!


Yes, the man standing up all things decent and good, Bloom has been fined for his part in December’s raucous protest in the European Parliament which disturbed a speech by the Portuguese Prime Minister, behaviour which could only be described as, well, yobbish.

But don't worry folks, Bloomman doesn't play by the rules, and in a typically maverick move he's apparently ready to do battle in the great 2009 European election dust-up. Kapow!